What a Movie
by Callea
Summary: SG-1 go to a movie and end up in the Jedi world of Attack of the Clones.
1. Chapter 1

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action/Adventure, Romance  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings:   
  
Summary: Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c convince Jack to see Star Wars: Episode 2, but something about this movie just isn't right. [Sam/Daniel friendship.]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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"This had better be good, Carter, or you will never hear the end of it," O'Neill complained.  
  
"Well, Sir... I can't say for sure that it'll be good but..." Sam's voice trailed off as she tried to think of something to say that would make the Colonel forgive her if the movie turned out to be horribly awful. It had taken her and Daniel literally hours to persuade him to come to a sci-fi movie, of all things. He finally agreed, but made sure to emphasize that he was only going 'so that Teal'c wouldn't be disappointed.'  
  
"Aw, come on, Jack. It's spending time with your friends that matters, not whether the movie is good," Daniel joked, trying to save Sam from the Colonel's mock abuse.  
  
"I believe that DanielJackson has a point," Teal'c agreed, picking up on the team's teasing, "and I have been greatly anticipating this movie. I have watched the original ten times."  
  
"If this turns out to be a bomb, I'm holding you all accountable. I'll order all of you to come fishing with me!" O'Neill's threat got a round of laughter from the two scientists and an amused smile from the Jaffa.   
  
"Sam, I can't believe you wore that," Daniel laughed, referring to her black T-shirt which had the words 'Anakin Skywalker' scrawled across the front.   
  
"We gave that to you as a joke," Jack added.  
  
Sam smiled devilishly, "I know. I thought I could be more of an embarrassment to you guys this way."  
  
The four entered the theatre and took their seats. "You can't embarrass me. My Jedi powers prevent it," Daniel grinned.  
  
"All right, Master Jackson," Sam quipped as she playfully elbowed him in the ribs, "Let's see your powers."  
  
"I'll demonstrate later," he said as he smiled and raised his eyebrows for emphasis.   
  
Sam stifled her laugh as the lights began to dim and the previews began. Eventually, the theatre became darker, and familiar theme music began playing as text scrolled upward from the bottom of the movie screen.   
  
"Episode II  
  
ATTACK OF THE CLONES  
  
There is unrest in the Galactic  
  
Senate. Several thousand solar   
  
systems have declared their   
  
intentions to leave the Republic.   
  
This separatist movement, under   
  
the leadership of the mysterious   
  
Count Dooku, has made it difficult   
  
for the limited number of Jedi   
  
Knights to maintain peace and   
  
order in the galaxy.   
  
Senator Amidala, the former Queen   
  
of Naboo, is returning to the   
  
Galactic Senate to vote on the   
  
critical issue of creating an   
  
ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC to assist   
  
the overwhelmed Jedi...."  
  
The music faded and the image of a clear blue planet appeared as two Naboo N-1 starfighters soared past, followed by a royal cruiser and then more starfighters.   
  
Inside the cruiser, an officer reported, "Senator, we're making our final approach into Coruscant."  
  
"Very good, Lieutenant," replied the woman.  
  
The ships flew through the clouds and down into the city. An enormous gold ship shaped like a pyramid seemed to lurk behind the cruiser as it dipped below the white myst.  
  
Sam's back straightened and her eyes grew large. *What the... Was that a Goa'uld ship?* she wondered. *Don't tell me we've got more leaks giving out information about the SGC.*  
  
Daniel noticed her reaction and leaned toward her, whispering, "Are you all right?"  
  
Sam searched his face for any indication that he'd witnessed the same sight that she had. She found nothing but concern for her. "Yeah, but... Daniel, did any of that seem a little unusual to you."   
  
Daniel became confused, "Not really. Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
"Will you guys keep it down?" O'Neill whispered insistently.  
  
"Fine," she reassured him and motioned toward the movie to indicate that they should focus their attentions back on the screen.  
  
"We made it," a character on screen was saying to the starfighter pilot standing next to him. "I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all." A huge ball of fire suddenly burst forth from the ship as the Senator proceeded down the ramp. It enveloped her and her guards, and knocked everyone else on the landing platform to the ground.   
  
As the ship continued to burn, the starfighter pilot ran toward the fallen Senator, removing 'his' helmet to reveal the real Senator Padme Amidala. "Corde ..."   
  
"M'lady, I'm so sorry. I failed you, Senator," the dying woman cried.  
  
"No..." Amidala wept.  
  
"M'lady, you're still in danger here," Captain Typho exclaimed. Amidala's head of security expressed that she must leave immediately, but she didn't move. She stood fighting back her tears over her lifeless friend. "Senator Amidala, please," he said as he guided her away from the body and off the landing pad.  
  
The scene changed to a chamber where five Jedi were seated in a discussion with Chancellor Palpatine. "I don't know how much longer I can hold off the vote, my friends," Palatine stated matter-of-factly from behind his desk. "More and more star systems are joining the separatists."  
  
"If they do break away?" Mace Windu questioned.  
  
"I will not let this Republic that has stood for a thousand years be split in two." The camera moved in on a close-up of the Chancellor. "My negotiations will not fail," he stated as he eyes began to glow with a yellow hue.   
  
This time Daniel was the one who became startled. "Whoa...," he muttered in astonishment.  
  
"What?" Sam whispered.  
  
"Did you just see...?" Daniel asked as he gestured toward his eyes.  
  
"Huh?" It was Sam's turn to be confused. "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
"No... I mean, yes, I'm fine. Just a minor... delusion..."  
  
Sam stared at him with a look of concern and confusion mixed with a hint of 'Are you insane?'   
  
"Will you two cut it out. Teal'c is trying to enjoy the movie," the Colonel scolded.  
  
Daniel shook his head slightly and waved off Sam's concerns as he turned back to the screen. Sam looked at him for a few seconds more, trying to ascertain whether there really was a problem. Daniel noticed, and glanced back at her. He smiled and motioned to the movie with his eyes.  
  
On screen, the Jedi had just finished their meeting, and Yoda was standing to leave as Senator Amidala's party entered the room.  
  
"Senator Amidala, your tragedy on the landing platform. Terrible. Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart," Yoda stated.  
  
"Do you have any idea who's behind this attack?" Amidala questioned.  
  
Windu stated that they believed it was disgruntled spice miners, while Amidala expressed her thoughts that Count Dooku was behind the attack. The Jedi let her know that since Dooku used to be a Jedi, he could not be an assassin. However, they did feel that Amidala was in grave danger. The Chancellor suggested that the Jedi watch over the Senator despite her protests. It was agreed that Master Obi-Wan Kenobi would keep watch over her.  
  
The scene changed again to reveal Obi-Wan traveling in an elevator with his apprentice. "You seem a little on edge," Kenobi observed.  
  
"Not at all," the younger man countered.  
  
"I haven't felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of gundargs."  
  
"You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you remember."  
  
"Oh... yes." Obi-Wan chuckled. "You're sweating. Relax."  
  
"I haven't seen her in ten years, Master."  
  
The scene changed again to Jar-Jar Binks as he walked down a corridor. Binks came to a doorway and gleefully greeted the familiar Jedi. He called to Padme, and the three exchanged greetings. Anakin Skywalker appeared love-struck as he spoke.  
  
Kenobi, Amidala, and Typho began discussing the security arrangements. Anakin assured the Senator that they would find her attacker, and Obi-Wan informed him that they were not to overstep their mandate as protectors. Kenobi and Skywalker spoke heatedly when the apprenticed contradicted his master in public. Kenobi finished the disagreement by commanding, "You will learn your place, young one."  
  
The Senator took leave of the group, and Anakin told Jar-Jar of his disappointment that Padme had not been more pleased to see him. Then Obi-Wan insisted that they turn their attention toward security measures.  
  
The scene changed to an individual walking away from an airspeeder. This individual had a long cape, a large staff, and an armored suit with a helmet shaped like a cobra.  
  
*Serpent guard!!* Alarms went off in Jack's head, as he blinked twice, trying to determine if he had seen correctly. He shifted his eyes toward the Jaffa on his right and saw that he was watching the scene intently. Then, he glanced at Carter and saw the she also had had no reaction. *Woah,* he thought as he quickly rubbed his eyes and shook his head.  
  
He looked up to see the person from the airspeeder. She was definitely not a Jaffa, but a woman who was referred to as Zam, and she had just received a canister of poison from her comrade.  
  
The scene returned to Amidala's apartment as Kenobi and Skywalker discussed the protection of the Senator. Anakin informed his master that she had insisted on using herself as bait to reveal the assassin. The conversation of the Jedi turned to Anakin's romantic feelings for Padme, and Obi-Wan reproached him for this as a ASN-121 droid released two serpent-like creatures, whitish gray in color, with tentacles that seemed like fangs extending from what appeared to be their mouth and gills on each side of their heads.  
  
Teal'c cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. Then, he glanced to his left at his friends to determine whether the creatures appeared to them to be Goa'uld or whether his eyes were deceiving him. The others showed no adverse reactions, so the Jaffa continued watching the movie.  
  
The creatures crawled across Amidala's bed, undetected by the R2 unit that watched over her. As they moved upward, the two Jedi sensed their presence and raced in. Anakin was just in time to bat them off the woman and cut them in two with his light saber.  
  
Kenobi, seeing the droid, leapt through the glass and grabbed hold of it. It took off to return to its master with the Jedi in tow. Anakin raced to his airspeeder in order to pursue. Zam saw the older Jedi coming and shot her droid down with her sniper riffle to prevent him from finding her. Kenobi plummeted toward the ground and landed in Skywalker's speeder.   
  
The pair chased the assassin through the repulsorlift traffic. Anakin sent the speeder into a nosedive, and the theatre turned ninety degrees so that the screen now appeared to be the floor. Suddenly Sam felt as though gravity was going to throw her directly into the screen. She gripped the arms of the seat tightly and her face turned white.  
  
Daniel noticed and gave her another 'Are you all right?' look. The room became upright again as Anakin pulled up on the speeder, and Sam responded with a weak smile to reassure her friend.   
  
"Something wrong, Major?" Jack whispered.  
  
"No, Sir. I think I just need some air."  
  
"I'll go with you," Daniel volunteered. "We'll be right back, Jack."  
  
The Colonel nodded as Sam stood, followed by Daniel. They walked up the aisle and through the theatre door. Teal'c, engrossed in the prequel to one of his favorite movies, barely noticed their departure.  
  
On screen, the assassin's speeder crashed and Anakin and Obi-Wan chased her into a nightclub.   
  
"My kinda place," O'Neill smirked at Teal'c.   
  
The Jaffa responded with a slight smiled and a nod, "Indeed."  
  
"What can I do for you boys?" a silky female voiced asked from beside Jack. Confused, the Colonel turned his head to see a scantily clad woman standing next to him. Shaking his head, he uttered, "Excuse me?"  
  
"Can I get you something to drink?" The woman was dressed in a skin-tight blue outfit, her hair twisted above her head in a snake-like fashion, and she carried a tray as though she were a server.  
  
"What...?" He was perplexed as he turned toward Teal'c and noticed that the entire theatre was now filled with alien looking people drinking and gambling. There were so many people that he could no longer see a movie screen or any of the exits.  
  
The Jaffa also noticed the situation and asked the woman, "What has just transpired?"  
  
She smiled at them and answered, "If you don't know what's going on, maybe you should cut back on the drinks." Then she turned and moved on to her next customer.  
  
A man who seemed to pass as the resident drug dealer crept up to them and inquired, "Interest you in some death sticks?"  
  
O'Neill smiled mockingly and stated, "I think we've had our fill for today."  
  
"Here, keep one... on the house." He gave them a wicked smiled. "It goes great with toast. I'll be around if you need more," the man said, and he slipped away before the pair could refuse.  
  
"I can't believe it's not butter," Jack muttered sarcastically.  
  
"I have very little trouble believing it is not butter, O'Neill."  
  
"Never mind."  
  
*******************************  
  
Outside the theater, Daniel leaned against the wall waiting for Sam to exit the restroom where she was splashing water on her face. She came out the door and walked toward him, smiling. He smiled back.  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" he questioned.  
  
"Everything's fine. I think just got a little claustrophobic, that's all."   
  
"I've never known you to be claustrophobic before," he doubted her excuse.  
  
"Daniel, I promise I'm fine," she forced herself to smile to show him that she was perfectly okay.  
  
"If you say so," he said. He started to turn back to the theatre, but changed his mind. "You know you can tell me if there's something wrong, right?"  
  
Sam should have known that she couldn't hide anything from Daniel. "I just got a little disoriented. It felt like I was falling."  
  
Daniel's expression grew more concerned. "If you're not feeling well, I'll drive you home. I can go give Jack some excuse, and we can leave now," he offered.  
  
Sam was tempted to accept, but she didn't want to let her friends down on one of their rare evenings away from the stargate together. "It's okay. I'm fine now."   
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Thinking about spending time with her friends had brought her back into good spirits, and she smiled as she told him "Yeah. Ready to go back in?"  
  
"I am if you are," he said and put his arm around her shoulder in a short, friendly hug as he guided her toward the theatre doors.  
  
As they walked through the entrance, they could see that it was still dark inside, but something was different. The door closed behind them before their eyes adjusted to the light, and they realized that the room no longer possessed any semblance of a theatre. In fact, it appeared to be more of a nightclub.  
  
Daniel turned to reach for the theatre door, but discovered that it was no longer there. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto...," he muttered as he looked around in shock. 


	2. Chapter 2

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings:   
  
Summary: SG-1 chase down the Jedi, and they're brought to the Jedi Temple to be 'evaluated.'  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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The conversation between Teal'c and the Colonel was interrupted by a man wielding a lightsaber and cutting off the arm of the woman behind him. O'Neill stood in surprise and the Jaffa followed suit.  
  
Sam and Daniel were nearby and noticed the disturbance. They were in shock as a younger man said, "Jedi business. Go back to your drinks."  
  
The older Jedi began picking up the woman, and Daniel spotted his friends at a table nearby. He turned to Sam noticed she was still observing the Jedi master. He lightly tapped her on the arm and motioned toward Teal'c and Jack.   
  
When they reached their friends, Daniel asked, "Jack, what's going on?"  
  
"I was hoping you might know."  
  
"Sir, it appears that we're actually inside the Star Wars movie. Of course, we can't be, because that's simply impossible. It could be some kind of virtual reality or maybe an alien induced shared dementia," Carter offered.  
  
"So, how do we get out of here?" O'Neill demanded.  
  
"We could try tapping our heals together," Daniel joked quietly. This got a few annoyed and confused looks from the rest of the team, and Daniel elaborated with, "There's no place like..." The expressions didn't disappear from his friends faces, so he finished with a weak, "...home," as he crossed his arms and turned his attention toward the floor.  
  
"There is no apparent method of escape at this time," Teal'c observed.  
  
O'Neill looked at his second in command for confirmation. "He's right... as far as I can tell anyway."  
  
"Peachy," the Colonel grumbled.  
  
"Maybe the Jedi could give us some information," Carter suggested.  
  
"Seems like as good a plan as any. They went that way. Come on," O'Neill ordered, and the team jogged in the direction of the exit that Obi-Wan and Anakin had taken.  
  
As they stepped outside, they saw the two Jedi leaning over the body of a rather unattractive alien creature wearing the clothes of the assassin. The Jedi immediately sensed the group and turned to see who approached.   
  
"Greetings, friends. Whom do we have the pleasure of addressing?" inquired Obi-Wan.  
  
"Luke Sky...," halfway through Jack's typical smart-ass remark to that question, he realized who he was talking to. The name Skywalker would probably raise quite of bit of suspicion in the two men.  
  
"I'm Daniel Jackson. This is Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, and Teal'c." Daniel shot Jack a look of contempt. "Let me apologize for my comrade's feeble attempt at humor."  
  
The two Jedi looked puzzled, and Obi-Wan replied, "Though I do not get the joke, there was no harm done. I am..."  
  
Daniel cut him off, "Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this is your Padawan Anakin Skywalker."  
  
A small flicker of surprise passed over the Jedi's face, "I fear you have me at an advantage. You seem to know me, yet I fear I have never before met any of your number."  
  
Sam tried to listen to the conversation, but she could feel the younger Jedi's attention focused directly on her.  
  
"Yes, that's true. We..." Daniel was interrupted mid-sentence as Sam suddenly became uncomfortable under Anakin's gaze.  
  
"What?" she almost shouted at him. Everyone turned to look at her.  
  
"I am sorry for staring," Skywalker apologized. "It is just that..." Everyone could now see the reason for his interest. His voice became quieter and inquisitive, "...you have my name posted across your chest."  
  
Sam looked embarrassed as Kenobi looked quizzically at all of them. "Yeah... um... there's a good reason for that," she stammered.  
  
"Look," Daniel interrupted, saving his friend from further embarrassment, "it's a long story. Maybe we can all go some place where we can explain."  
  
*******************************  
  
SG-1 had explained their current situation and their inability to remedy their problem. Kenobi had also explained, in limited detail, the situation he was currently in. SG-1 had discussed the matter, and Daniel convinced Jack of the possibility that they might not simply be inside of a movie and that there may actually be people who needed their help. Carter had agreed, saying that the only way to get out might be to play along. Jack had then informed Obi-Wan that they would assist in any way they could.  
  
The team had changed into more suitable attire per Obi-Wan's recommendation. He had advised them, and Daniel had agreed, that they would be more easily accepted from everyone in Coruscant if they wore the style of the time. Sam welcomed the change; she could only imagine how the rest of the Jedi would react to the name of one of their own written on her shirt.   
  
SG-1 now followed Obi-Wan and Anakin through the corridor of the Jedi Temple.   
  
"Come on, can I play with it?" Jack begged Anakin once again to let him use his lightsaber and received a blank look in response. "Please?" He was met again by silence. "Pretty please?"  
  
"A Jedi's weapon is his life. It is not a toy," the young man lectured.  
  
"You will wait here until I have finished speaking with the Council. Then, if they wish, you will be allowed an audience," Obi-Wan informed them.  
  
"Wonderful," the Colonel mumbled as the Jedi left them. "We'll be right here if you need us," he called out as they moved farther away.  
  
Kenobi and Skywalker entered into the center of the chamber where thirteen other Jedi were seated in a large circle. They informed the Council of what had transpired with the assassin and were ready to receive their instructions for taking care of the situation.  
  
"Track down this bounty hunter you must, Obi-Wan," Master Yoda stated.  
  
"Most importantly," Windu added, "find out who's he's working for."  
  
"What about Senator Amidala? She will still need protecting," Kenobi added.   
  
"Handle that your Padawan will," Yoda commanded.  
  
"Anakin, escort the Senator back to her home planet of Naboo," instructed Windu. "She'll be safer there. And don't use registered transport. Travel as refugees."  
  
Anakin mentioned that it would be difficult to convince Amidala to leave the capital since she led the opposition. However, Windu told Anakin to ask Chancellor Palpatine to persuade her.  
  
"Master Yoda, there is another matter which we must discuss," Obi-Wan began.  
  
"Speak of it you may," Yoda encouraged him.  
  
"My Padawan and I were approached today by four individuals." Obi-Wan recounted for the Council everything that SG-1 had told him. When he finished, he gave his opinion of the group, "I sense that they speak the truth, and that they may be able to assist us, yet two of them are clouded by the dark side. I seek the Council's advise in this matter."  
  
"Send them in you must. See we shall."  
  
Anakin exited the room, and moments later, he followed SG-1 as they entered. Obi-Wan motioned the group to the center as he introduced them. Yoda then inquired, "What is this 'movie' of which Obi-Wan says we are a part?"  
  
Carter explained, "It's a popular form of entertainment where we come from. A series of images are projected on a screen so rapidly that it creates the illusion of continuous motion. Sound is added with the images in order to form a story. We were watching your story, when suddenly we became a part of it."  
  
"Most interesting," Yoda observed.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to know how to get us out of here?" O'Neill asked.  
  
"Afraid I do not know I am."  
  
"Master Kenobi has stated that he believes your group may be of assistance to us," Windu added. "Do you have anything to add along these lines?"  
  
Daniel answered, "Simply that we'll help in any way we can. However, our primary goal is to find a way out of this situation, and we would appreciate your help as well... if possible."  
  
"Very well," Windu spoke. "You may exit the chamber. Master Kenobi will inform you of our decision once we have finished convening."  
  
SG-1 exited the room, then Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to the center of the circle. Yoda confirmed Kenobi's perceptions, "Correct you were. Powerful these are, yet surrounded by the dark side they seem."  
  
"Anakin, take the one called Daniel Jackson with you to protect the Senator. He is very far from the dark side, and I sense that he is wise. He will be able to assist you," Windu instructed. "Obi-Wan, take O'Neill on your search. I sense that he has much hidden wisdom as well. Leave the others here."   
  
"Mysterious the nature of those two is. Watch them we must. Observe their clouds we shall."  
  
Kenobi and Skywalker bowed and exited the Council chamber. As they walked through the door, Anakin whispered to his master, "I don't need assistance. I am perfectly capable of handling this on my own."  
  
"Anakin, the Council has decided. We will obey their wishes," he spoken definitively, letting the younger man know that the discussion had ended. "Daniel," Kenobi said as they approached the team, "you will accompany Anakin in order to protect the Senator of Naboo."  
  
"Wait a minute. I'm not sending any of my people off alone," Jack interjected.  
  
"Jack, come on. We're safe. They're Jedi," argued Daniel.  
  
"This could be a Goa'uld trick, Daniel," Carter warned.  
  
"I honestly think I'll be fine," Daniel stated and without any further objections, he left with Anakin.  
  
"O'Neill, you will accompany me. Carter and Teal'c, you are to remain here. But first, I must attend to another matter. I will have someone show you to a place where you will be comfortable until my return." Kenobi then sought out Yoda and Windu to discuss with them the arrogance that his Padawan had begun displaying. 


	3. Chapter 3

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings:   
  
Summary: SG-1 head out on their 'missions.' Sam and Teal'c face closer scrutiny. [Slight Padme/Daniel.]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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Anakin first went to speak with Palpatine, leaving Daniel to wait outside the room. After they received word from the Chancellor that Amidala agreed to leave Coruscant, he rejoined Daniel, and they made their way to the Senator's apartment.  
  
Jar-Jar greeted them at the door and let out a loud exclamation at seeing his friend, "Ani! Welcome back." Then, he caught sight of Daniel. "Whosir are yousir?" he inquired.  
  
"This is Daniel Jackson. He will be aiding in the protection of the Senator," Anakin answered.  
  
Padme, overhearing this exchange from the next room, walked through the doorway. Seeing Daniel, she stated, "You don't look much like a Jedi."  
  
"No..." he smiled sheepishly, intimidated by the unexpected beauty of the woman before him. He had previously seen her image on the movie screen, but in person, she was breathtaking. "I'm not... I'm an... archeologist," .   
  
"Sounds fascinating," she smiled back.  
  
They gazed into each other's eyes, and from this exchange, Daniel found that he had the courage to say, "Forgive me for saying so, but you don't look like any Senator I've ever met," as he reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips.  
  
Padme blushed, "I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
"It's very much a compliment."  
  
Anakin, obviously upset by this exchange, jumped in between them, "Senator, we must leave at once."  
  
"Yes," the woman agreed, barely hearing his words as her eyes remained locked on Daniel's.  
  
The manner in which the woman of his dreams dismissed him made Anakin even more enraged and annoyed. "Senator, you must listen me. We have to go!" He nearly shouted in a whiney tone.  
  
Amidala gave him a stern look and stated, "Well Anakin, I see you haven't grown up at all since I last saw you. Have patience. We'll leave soon enough."  
  
Daniel responded, "He's right. We should be going. May I help you with your bags?"  
  
"Of course." She beamed at Daniel as Anakin's face reddened.  
  
*******************************  
  
Obi-Wan had since returned to the remaining members of SG-1, and he and Colonel O'Neill were now on a transport with Senator Amidala's party, which was preparing to leave Coruscant.  
  
"I'm worried about you. What if they realize you've left the capital?" Dorme asked her Senator.  
  
"Then my protectors will have to prove how good they are," she stated, glacing toward Daniel.  
  
"Anakin," Obi-Wan instructed, "don't do anything without first consulting either myself or the Council."  
  
"Yes, Master."  
  
The doors to the transport began to open. "I'll get to the bottom of this plot quickly, M'Lady. You'll be back here in no time," Kenobi assured.  
  
"I'll be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi."  
  
"And I'll help too," O'Neill interjected as he waived his hand slightly to draw attention to himself.  
  
"I am pleased by your assistance as well," Amidala said. As she did so, she glanced at Daniel, who was standing next to the Colonel, and smiled.  
  
O'Neill noted this exchange and looked questioningly at the man beside him. Daniel merely shrugged his shoulders and walked toward the exit.  
  
As Amidala, R2, Anakin, and Daniel reached the door, Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak. As he did so, he found that Jack had done the same. Obi-Wan stopped after the word, "Anakin," and Jack also paused after, "Daniel."   
  
The two men looked at each other; O'Neill continued, "May the force be with you." This earned a very displeased look from the Jedi Master, who had begun to say the same to his Padawan.  
  
Daniel did his best impression of a Jedi bow, which resulted in a giggle from Padme.  
  
Feeling slightly flustered and not wanting to seem foolish for repeating the sentiment that had already been expressed, Obi-Wan said the first thing that came to his mind, "Live long and prosper." At this, Jack and Daniel could barely contain their laughter.  
  
"Likewise, Master," Anakin responded, slightly confused.  
  
The group of four then picked up their bags and exited the transport. Daniel, Padme, and Anakin walked in a line followed by R2D2. "Suddenly I'm afraid," the Senator expressed.  
  
"It's understandable. I'm a little nervous myself," Daniel reassured her. "Don't worry. We have Anakin with us." Padme giggled as though the suggestion of the Padawan protecting them was a joke. She glanced to her left at the young man who looked rather irritated.  
  
*******************************  
  
Obi-Wan and Colonel O'Neill arrived at a diner in Coco Town and immediately requested that the droid waitress fetch Dexter Jettster for them.   
  
"Obi-Wan," Dex greeted mirthfully.  
  
"Hello, Dex."  
  
"Take a seat. I'll be right with ya."  
  
"You boys wanna cup of Jawa juice?" the droid asked.  
  
"Oh yes, thank you," Obi-Wan answered.  
  
"Jawa juice? No thanks," responded O'Neill.  
  
The two men took a seat at the booth and only had to wait a few seconds before a very large alien with four arms came out of the kitchen and met Obi-Wan with a hug, "He-ey, oh-hoh buddy." Dex then looked toward O'Neill, "Who's your friend?"  
  
"Colonel Jack O'Neill, two L's," O'Neill answered.  
  
"Pleasure to meet ya," the big man extended his hand in greeting. He then leaned over toward Obi-Wan and whispered, "Your friend's a little... off isn't he?"  
  
Kenobi looked back at Dex and made a small "don't ask" motion with his hands, hoping the Colonel wouldn't notice.  
  
Dex took a seat at the booth next to them, and Kenobi and O'Neill followed suit by taking their places on the bench across the table from him.   
  
"So my friend, what can I do for ya," Dex asked.  
  
Kenobi held up a mysterious device he had acquired from the assassin, "You can tell me what this is."   
  
"Wow! Wha'd'ya know! I ain't seen one of these since I was prospectin' on Sub Terrel, beyond the Outer Rim."  
  
"Can you tell me where it came from?" Kenobi said as the waitress brought his juice. "Thank you," he told the droid.   
  
"This baby belongs to them cloners."  
  
"Huh," O'Neill grunted and then mumbled, "cloners... guess that's where that cheesy title comes from..." The other two men at the table immediately stopped their conversation and looked him.   
  
"Is there something you'd like to add, Colonel O'Neill?" Kenobi inquired.  
  
"Uh.. no, Mister, uh, Master Kenobi. Just a bit of a," he said as he coughed into his hand, "cough."  
  
Dex and Obi-Wan turned back toward one another. Dex leaned in closer to his friend and asked, "Where did ya find this guy?"  
  
"Hey, come on. Don't talk about me right in front of my face," O'Neill protested.  
  
The two old friends both cast a sideways glance at him, and Obi-Wan commented, "It's a long story."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Directing the attention away from himself, O'Neill asked, "So do you know anything else about this... dohickey?"  
  
"Well, what you've got here is a Kamino saberdart."  
  
"I wonder why it didn't show up in the analysis archives," Kenobi thought aloud.  
  
"It's the funny little cuts on the side that give it away. Those analysis druids only focus on symbols. Huh! I figured you Jedi would have more respect for the difference between knowledge and," Dex laughed, "wisdom."  
  
"You had robots try to figure this thing out. No wonder we're sitting here in some third rate diner asking the cook for advice." O'Neill looked over at the much larger man, "No offense."   
  
"None taken," the big man stated flatly. O'Neill, sensing that the man was about to become impatient with him, leaned back in his seat and pretended to be busy with the salt-shaker-like object on the table.  
  
Kenobi ignored the Colonel's comments and continued talking with Dex. "Kamino. I'm not familiar with it. Is it in the Republic?"  
  
"No, no, it's beyond the Outer Rim. I'd say about 12 parsecs outside the Rishi Maze. Should be easy to find even for those droids in your archives." Dex laughed and took a drink of his Jawa juice. He then leaned closer to Kenobi. "These Kaminoans keep to themselves. They're cloners, damn good ones too."  
  
"Cloners? Are they friendly?" Kenobi asked.  
  
"Oh, depends."  
  
Obi-Wan smiled as he asked, "Depends on what Dex?"   
  
"On how good your manners are, on how big your pocketbook is," the big man chuckled.   
  
*******************************  
  
Sam and Teal'c sat in a nearly empty room as they watched the very short, green man limp out the door.  
  
"Well, that was certainly interesting," Sam said as she looked toward her friend.  
  
"What exactly did you find interesting about it, Major Carter?"  
  
"Those questions he asked us were totally off the wall. I realize that Yoda's a little out there, but come on. I think this guy's lost a few too many marbles, and I don't know how much longer I could have put up with that backwards talk."  
  
"Master Yoda is a great warrior and his wisdom is beyond that of all other Jedi. You may not understand his methods, but I assure you he was able to ascertain our intentions with his inquiry."  
  
"Whatever you say, Teal'c. You're the Star Wars expert here."  
  
At that moment, Colonel O'Neill walked through the door.  
  
"Sir?" Carter questioned.  
  
"Apparently Kenobi and the green guy are out there talking about you right now, deciding what to do with you I suppose."  
  
"What have you been doing, Sir?"  
  
"Going to diners." At O'Neill's statement, Sam's expression became puzzled and Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Don't ask," the Colonel said flatly.  
  
Finally, Obi-Wan walked into the room and informed them all, "Good news. Master Yoda says that you pose no threat to the Jedi order, and you're free to travel about the temple. Master Yoda also believes that you could be instrumental in assisting in our current dilemma."  
  
"Great," Carter smiled, "where do we start?"  
  
"First, we're going to do some research in the archives." Kenobi smiled back. The two caught each others gaze, and their smiles grew wider. They stood looking at each other and smiling for several seconds.  
  
"Sounds like fun," Sam finally said.  
  
"Shall we?" the Jedi said as he motioned toward the door with his hand.  
  
Carter walked out the door, followed by Kenobi. Teal'c and O'Neill stood dumbfounded as they exchanged a 'What the hell just happened here?' look.   
  
"I can't believe it's not butter."  
  
Teal'c was now very confused. "Butter, O'Neill?"  
  
The Colonel shrugged his shoulders and headed for the door, "I ran out of clever things to say."  
  
At that, Teal'c was speechless. He merely raised his eyebrow and walked after the Colonel. 


	4. Chapter 4

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings:   
  
Summary: SG-1 continue their missions. Tensions arise between Daniel and Anakin. [Padme/Daniel, slight Sam/Obi-Wan.]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated  
  
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"Let me get you a drink," Daniel offered Padme as they traveled toward Naboo. Daniel stood and went to the bar, leaving the young woman and Anakin sitting at the table.  
  
"So Anakin, it must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi, not being able to visit the places you like or do the things you like."  
  
"Or be with the people that I love?"  
  
"Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi."  
  
Anakin hesitated slightly before answering, "Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life" He smiled warmly."So you might say that we are encouraged to love."  
  
"Maybe you have changed, Anakin." She smiled back.  
  
"You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams."  
  
An uncomfortable pause surrounded them until Daniel returned, sitting down beside Padme and placing a drink in front of her. "Thank you," she said as she leaned toward him and lightly kissed him on the cheek  
  
Daniel smiled back as Anakin sat watching, the cold glint of jealousy in his eyes. He was beginning to hate the man in front of him. Every time he got closer to the woman he loved, HE stepped in the way.  
  
*******************************  
  
"So you can actually control matter with your mind?" Sam asked Obi-Wan as they entered Jedi Archives followed by Teal'c and O'Neill.  
  
"Yes, it takes a lot of practice and a lot of patience, but we're able to move nearly any object. The stronger our abilities, the larger and denser the objects we can move."  
  
"But how do you do that? Does your brain emit some type of electrical..." Sam was interrupted mid-sentence as Jack tripped and nearly knocked over the bronze bust of one of the Jedi masters lining the main hall.  
  
Jack immediately righted the pedestal and flashed an embarrassed grin, "Sorry about that."  
  
"Please try to be careful," Kenobi scolded, and O'Neill nodded back.  
  
Distracted from her original train of thought, Sam asked, "So what are we looking for?"  
  
Kenobi replied as he sat down at a terminal, "A planetary system called Kamino. It seems that our assassin's weapon came from there."   
  
Kenobi continued searching with Sam leaning over his shoulder. After a few minutes she inquired, "Any luck?"  
  
"No, but perhaps the archivist can find it for us." Kenobi then summoned the caretaker of the records.   
  
"Are you sure you're searching in the right place?" Sam asked as she leaned closer to Obi-Wan to get a better view of the monitor he was using.   
  
"That is what I intend to find out, Major Carter." Obi-Wan turned toward her and their faces were merely inches apart.  
  
"Please, call me Sam," she smiled at him, and their eyes locked.  
  
"Sam," he repeated with a hint of a smile.  
  
She heard a cough come from behind her, and Sam suddenly realized that she was being watched. She became immediately embarrassed and rapidly stood up straight, making sure she was no longer touching the man in front of her. Her cheeks and ears started to take on a reddish hue. Jack and Teal'c stood with barely hidden laughter at the reaction they had elicited from their teammate.  
  
Sam was relieved when Madame Jocasta Nu, the caretaker, arrived. The attention of the group became immediately focused on the newcomer. "Did you call for assistance?" the elderly woman asked.  
  
"Yes, yes I did." Kenobi answered eagerly.  
  
"Are you having a problem Master Kenobi?"  
  
"Yes, um, I'm looking for a planetary system called Kamino. It doesn't show up on the Archive charts."  
  
"Kamino," the woman pondered. "It's not a system I'm familiar with. Are you sure you have the right coordinates?"  
  
"According to my information, it should appear in the quadrant here," He pointed to the area on the screen and the old woman looked over his left shoulder, "just south of the Rishi Maze."  
  
"I hate to say it, but it looks like the system you're searching for doesn't exist."  
  
"Impossible," Kenobi declared. "Perhaps the archives are incomplete."  
  
"If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist," she said abruptly as she turned on her heel and walked away.  
  
"Wait a minute," Sam exclaimed from her spot to Obi-Wan's right. "Can you show me more data on this? Something doesn't look right."  
  
Obi-Wan vacated the chair he had been sitting in and motioned toward it, "Here. I'll show you how to work the console."   
  
After a few minutes of looking over the information, Sam turned toward Obi-Wan and revealed her conclusion, "The system has to be there. Look, gravity is pulling all the stars in the area toward this spot," she declared as she pointed at the screen. "That's where it is. Somebody must have deleted it from your archive."  
  
"But it's impossible to delete information from the archives." Obi-Wan pondered for a moment. "You're sure about this, Sam?" he asked.  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
"Thank you for your assistance. I must speak to Master Yoda about this at once."  
  
*******************************  
  
Having arrived on Naboo, Anakin, Padme, and Daniel traveled toward the Theed Royal Palace, followed closely by R2D2.   
  
"So let me ask you something, Padme," Daniel requested.  
  
"You should call her Senator or Senator Amidala," Anakin interrupted.  
  
Amidala gave the young man a scolding look, then turned back to Daniel and said warmly, "It's alright. Padme will be fine. The Padawan is just a little overprotective of me." They walked a short distance in silence, then Padme asked, "What is it you wanted to know?"  
  
"Now don't take this the wrong way, but this is just something that's been bugging me. In the last movie, when you had your handmaiden dress up as a decoy and you dressed up as a handmaiden, why did you still call yourself Padme? It just doesn't make sense to me. If Padme is your first name, then calling yourself by that name while you're in disguise makes for a pretty ineffective disguise. It would be about as effective as if I disguised someone as myself and called them Dr. Jackson but still called myself Daniel. Do you see what I'm getting at here?"  
  
Amidala blinked twice then responded in an embarrassed tone, "Well... I guess I hadn't thought it through. It seemed like a good idea at the time." After thinking for a minute, she questioned, "How do you know about that?"  
  
Realizing what he had done, Daniel blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Yoda told me," he said matter-of-factly.  
  
"When did he do that? I don't remember you talking to Yoda," Anakin butted in.  
  
"Well I did," Daniel stated forcefully.  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Did so."  
  
"Did not," Anakin shouted loudly, and people nearby began to look curiously at them.  
  
"What's a movie?" Amidala interrupted before more attention could be drawn to the group. Daniel raised his eyebrows and looked startled. Amidala clarified, "Earlier, you said something about a movie. You said 'in the last movie.' What does that mean?"  
  
"Well...," he paused as he quickly thought up a way to easily explain without getting himself into trouble and without deliberately lying. It was one thing to tell the Jedi about the whole situation, but if he told the Senator, she would probably think he was a lunatic. "It's a saying from my planet. It really doesn't translate. It ahh... ah..." he sputtered, grasping for words to explain. Sudden inspiration hit him, and he explained, "Well, it could represent a period of time..." He added with a smile, "usually of about two hours."   
  
"Two hours? So what did you mean by it? That happened much longer than two hours ago."  
  
Daniel realized that he had taken his definition too far with the 'two hours' comment. "I'm not sure I can explain it. Can we just forget about it?"  
  
Having heard Carter's definition and wanting to make this man look bad, Anakin interjected, "No, I think you're lying. Either that, or you're just dumb. Why don't you tell us what you really meant?"  
  
Appalled, Amidala exclaimed, "Anakin, I guess you really haven't grown up at all. You're still behaving like a child." Turning her attention back to Daniel, she said, "It's alright. It really wasn't that important anyway. I was just trying to make conversation."  
  
"Well, then let's talk about you," Daniel offered. "You ruled a planet at a pretty young age. That must have been hard."  
  
"Yes. I wasn't the youngest queen ever elected, but now that I think back, I'm not sure I was old enough. I'm not sure I was ready," Amidala stated.  
  
Shocked by this revelation, Daniel asked, "So you're telling me you were elected queen? How old were you exactly?"  
  
"Fourteen."  
  
"You're kidding me? You were supposed to be fourteen!? Lucas wasn't going for believability on that one was he?" Daniel quipped as he realized that the actress must have been at least eighteen when the first movie was released.  
  
Confused, Padme asked, "What? Who's Lucas? I don't know anybody by that name."  
  
"This guy I know," he answered quickly. Padme looked as though she were going to ask another question, but Daniel immediately interjected, "So your people actually elect children to office? I find that fascinating. How do you manage to have the knowledge to run an entire planet, much less put up with the stress of having to do so?"  
  
"I was very well educated in my youth. I was also a volunteer for the Refugee Relief Movement as well as an Apprentice Legislator."  
  
"But still, how could you have the necessary maturity level? I mean, children on my planet have run a nation, but only when they're forced to do so by the death of a parent or relative who ruled before them. Even then, the children were just figureheads. Their advisors or some other elder made all the actual decision making."  
  
"Well..." Amidala took a moment to think before responding, "Nobody's really explained it. I suppose your planet is just different than mine. Our children just must be different somehow."  
  
"I just wish I knew how. I study cultures, and these kinds of things are interesting to me."  
  
Padme stepped closer to him and smiled, "So you find me interesting?"  
  
Shyly, Daniel answered back, "You could say that."  
  
"Hey," Anakin shouted a little too loudly. "It looks like the Palace is just up ahead."  
  
As Amidala looked at the building, she quickly took on an air of professionalism, and the group walked the rest of the short distance in silence.  
  
They then entered the Royal Palace and waited for their audience with the new queen. The meeting went on for a long while, with Amidala raising the issue of a possible civil war and the probable failure of negotiations, as well as expressing her concern that the Separatists would seek help from the Trade Federation or the Commerce Guilds.   
  
"It's outrageous. But after four trials in the supreme court, Nute Gunray is still the Viceroy of the Trade Federation. I fear the Senate is powerless to resolve this crisis," one governor stated.  
  
"We must keep our faith in the Republic," the queen asserted as she began to stand. The rest of the assembly stood with her as she walked around her desk. "The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it."  
  
"Let's pray that day never comes," Amidala expressed.  
  
"In the meantime, we must consider your own safety," Queen Jamillia stated.  
  
"What is your suggestion Master Jedi?" the governor asked.  
  
Amidala quickly corrected him, "Oh, Anakin's not a Jedi yet. He's still a Padawan learner. But I was thinking..."  
  
Anakin sharply interrupted, "Hold on a minute."  
  
"Excuse me," she said to Anakin sharply, then continued, "I was thinking I would stay in the Lake Country. There are some places up there that are very isolated."  
  
"Excuse me. I'm in charge of security here, M'Lady," Anakin argued.  
  
"And this is my home." countered Amidala.   
  
Daniel stepped in on her behalf. "She's right. She's knows this place very well. That's why we're here. Anakin, I think it would be wise if you took advantage of her knowledge in this instance."  
  
Amazed, Padme turned toward Daniel. "That's EXACTLY what I was going to say," she whispered to him.  
  
Daniel smiled back and Anakin looked at her, bowed slightly, and responded bitterly, "Sorry, M'Lady."  
  
Amidala simply glared back at him, turning slowly away with a look of disgust.   
  
"Perfect. It's settled then." Queen Jamillia stated as they exited the room. 


	5. Chapter 5

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings:   
  
Summary: SG-1 continue their missions with Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme.  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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"Now Obi-Wan, when are you gonna teach me how to move things with my mind?" O'Neill asked as he and SG-1, minus Daniel, followed the Jedi into the starfighter hangar. "Because if you really want my help, I think that would be a good trade for my services."  
  
"I'm afraid you're much," looking over the Colonel and establishing his age, Kenobi added, "much too old to begin Jedi training."  
  
Sam and Teal'c exchanged glances and stifled a laughed.   
  
"Ouch," Jack responded. "I think I'm offended."  
  
As they reached the vessels Obi-Wan inquired, "Is there any chance you know how to fly a starfighter?" At the mention of the Jedi ship, Teal'c's ears perked up, and it was obvious that he would like nothing more than to fly one.  
  
O'Neill remarked smugly, "They anything like a death glider?"   
  
"I am unfamiliar with death gliders." Kenobi answered.  
  
"That's kinda what I figured." O'Neill muttered as Teal'c and Carter moved to examine one of the ships.  
  
As they approached the vessel, both of them were surprised and looked at each other to confirm what they were seeing. "Woah... Weird," Carter exclaimed.  
  
"What is it, Major?" O'Neill questioned.  
  
Teal'c answered him, "This does not appear to be a Jedi starfighter. The exterior resembles one in shape, yet the interior exactly matches a death glider." Recalling his vast Star Wars knowledge, Teal'c stated. "It even has a two-passenger cockpit. Starfighters are piloted by one Jedi and an R2 unit. This is definitely not a starfighter."  
  
"So you're saying it is like a death glider. Sweet. Let's fly it." O'Neill said, smiling.  
  
Carter interjected, "Sir, this is getting pretty strange. It's starting to look more like some kind of a Goa'uld trick."  
  
"I concur," the Jaffa added.  
  
"I know this looks like a trap, but what do you suggest we do. You guys said we should help the Jedi. Now unless you have a better idea, we're going to help the Jedi." The Colonel paused and waited for an answer. When none came, he added, "I'm open to suggestions." When still no answer came, he turned to Kenobi and told him, "We'll be able to fly these. You just tell us where we need to go. Teal'c and I will take one fighter and you and Carter can take the other, okay?"  
  
"That is acceptable." Obi-Wan answered.  
  
"Good. Let's go," O'Neill said as they all moved toward their ships.  
  
*****  
  
"There it is. Right where it should be... our missing planet Kamino," Obi-Wan stated as the two ships flew toward the blue globe.  
  
As the starfighters came to a stop on the landing platform and the four passengers climbed out, rain poured over them. They rushed toward the entrance, and the doors opened automatically before them. Inside, an exceedingly tall, slender, gray creature clothed in a long, metallic blue skirt approached.   
  
The creature's large black eyes blinked as she spoke in a feminine voice, "Master Jedi, the Prime Minister is expecting you."  
  
"You must be a super model," O'Neill commented as he noted the grace with which this extremely skinny being walked.  
  
Ignoring the Colonel's comment, Obi-Wan inquired, "I am expected?"  
  
"Of course. He is anxious to meet you. After all these years, we were beginning to think you weren't coming. Now please, this way." The alien woman gestured with her arm to point the group in the direction they should travel.  
  
Whispering to O'Neill quietly enough that the alien couldn't hear, Sam commented, "She looks like a stretched out Asgard with clothes." The Colonel, who had also noticed the extreme similarity, nodded back.  
  
They followed the hallway to a bright, white room where they were introduced to Thor, the Prime Minister of Kamino. The SG-1 members stood near the entryway as the Jedi master spoke with the man. They were all more than a little surprised to find that the aliens' leader had the same name as the Asgard's.  
  
Two chairs lowered from the ceiling, and were quickly occupied by Kenobi and Thor. The three members of SG-1 listened as the alien and the Jedi master talked. After the third mention of the name 'Siphideus,' O'Neill couldn't help himself and blurted out, "Si – Fi – De – Us."  
  
This earned him an annoyed look from everyone in the room. Obi-Wan quickly told the Prime Minister, "Please, ignore my companion. He seems to have some sort of behavioral disorder." Attempting to return to the previous line of conversation, he requested, "Tell me more about the units."  
  
Sounding very irritated, Teal'c turned to the Colonel. "O'Neill, you are ruining the movie for me," he said in a hushed tone.  
  
Trying not to interrupt the conversation again, O'Neill said quietly, "Oh, come on Teal'c. Are you serious?" Looking at the larger man's face, all he saw was a deadly serious expression.   
  
"This has been a very disappointing experience." he responded flatly.  
  
Sighing and sounding slightly irritated, the older man said, "Ya know, Teal'c, I hate to break it to ya, but the movie was ruined as soon as we got sucked into it."  
  
Teal'c had a hint of a smile on his face as he stated, "I am very disappointed because I cannot believe it is not butter."  
  
Slightly amused yet annoyed O'Neill said, "Very funny, Teal'c. Work on that sense of humor, huh."   
  
"Sir," Carter interrupted. O'Neill's attention was drawn back to the two figures in the center of the room who now stood, ready to move to another room in order to inspect the clone army that the Kaminoans had created.  
  
*******************************  
  
Daniel, Padme, and Anakin exited their boat and climbed the stairs to their hidden retreat. Padme had changed into a flowing, white, backless gown, and the scenery was comprised of breathtakingly beautiful flowers and architecture on a backdrop of glistening water.  
  
"We used to come here for school retreat," Padme commented as she walked toward the far end of the balcony followed by the two men. "We would swim to that island every day. I love the water." They walked in silence a few seconds as they reached the stony balcony railing. "We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing."  
  
"I don't like sand," Anakin admitted in an attempt to gain his love's affections. "It's course and ruff and irritating and it gets everywhere, not like you. You're everything soft and smooth."   
  
They stood in silence as Padme looked at him. Suddenly, she began to laugh, "I never knew you could be funny. That has got to be the corniest thing I've ever heard." Seeing the horrified look on his face, she questioned, "You were kidding, right?" Quickly discovering that he was indeed serious, she began to apologize, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..." She stopped, not knowing what to say next.  
  
Feeling rather uncomfortable, and not wanting to make Anakin's pain any worse, Daniel said, "I'm going to go check out the rest of the building." He quickly went inside before Padme could protest.  
  
"Why do you have to be so mean to me?" Anakin whined. "I didn't do anything to you, but all you can think about is HIM. Well what about ME?" The young Jedi began to sob and slid down against the railing.  
  
Feeling pity for the young man, she knelt down and spoke soothingly, "Anakin, I'm sorry. I know that you think you're in love with me..." She searched for words, but didn't have much experience in consoling crying young men. She made an effort to smile and seem polite. "It's just a childhood crush. You're a Jedi now. You'll just have to get over this. Come inside when you're feeling better, okay?" With that, she stood and went inside to unpack. 


	6. Chapter 6

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings: Anakin angst  
  
Summary: SG-1 make progress on their missions with Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme. [Slight Daniel/Padme. Anakin angst.]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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The group on Kamino traveled through the corridors, examining cloning equipment and listening to Prime Minister Thor explain the Kaminoan cloning process, which involved artificial aging. Sam seemed to be interested by the discussion, which consisted of what Colonel O'Neill would consider 'science talk.'  
  
They continued on their tour until they reached the point where they could observe the majority of the clone army. The number of clones milling about surprised Sam and shocked Obi-Wan. Thor informed them that a bounty hunter named Jengo Fett had supplied the DNA for the clones. He had also requested an unaltered clone to raise for himself.  
  
"I should very much like to meet this Jengo Fett," Obi-Wan commented.  
  
"Of course you may speak with him," Thor agreed. "It would be best, however, if your entire party did not accompany you."  
  
"Why not?" O'Neill quickly chimed in.  
  
"You will be visiting him in what is essentially his home. I don't want to alarm him or the boy. I must request that only one or two of you speak with him."  
  
O'Neill started to protest, but before he could speak, Obi-Wan interrupted, "Very well."  
  
Thor took his leave and the tall alien woman escorted them through the corridors to Jengo Fett's quarters.   
  
"Sir, I want to go in," Sam said, walking beside O'Neill.  
  
Surprised, the Colonel asked, "What?"  
  
"I'd like to see the DNA donor and the unaltered clone."   
  
"What on earth for, Carter?"  
  
"Scientific curiosity, Sir."  
  
O'Neill shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat. Go ahead."  
  
Sam nodded as their guide stopped outside one of the many doors in the corridor. "This is where Jengo and Bobba live. Two of you may accompany me inside," she told them once again.  
  
Obi-Wan looked toward the others, "O'Neill?"  
  
The Colonel responded, "Carter's going."  
  
Obi-Wan nodded and the alien woman rang the buzzer. A young boy answered the door and the three followed him as he called out to his father. Sam expected the boy to be older. She knew the Kaminoans aged the other clones, but she hadn't thought they had aged them this much. Movie technology or not, she was still impressed by it and curious to see whether it would work in reality.  
  
As they reached the center of the room, a dark skinned, dark haired man entered through an adjacent door. As he came into view, Sam's breath caught in her throat. She didn't believe what she was seeing.  
  
Introductions were made, then Obi-Wan and Jengo Fett began a tense discussion. Each of them seemed to be sizing up the other, knowing that they were hiding something. Sam stood back silently, not wanting to interfere in the 'showdown'.  
  
They then exited the room having accomplished virtually nothing with Sam still startled about Jengo Fett's appearance.  
  
*******************************  
  
Padme entered the dining room to see a dinner table prepared with fruit and drinks for three. A moment later, the young Jedi entered the room. "Are you feeling better?" she asked him.  
  
"Much, M'Lady," he answered, trying to be charming.  
  
She smiled. "I'm relieved. No hard feelings then?"  
  
"None at all." He pulled out a chair and motioned for her to sit in it.  
  
"We should wait for Daniel before we begin," she said, taking her seat.  
  
Hearing this, Anakin pushed her chair in harder than he had intended. Startled, Padme looked back at him. Stifling his anger, he smiled at her and stated, "He's out sight seeing. I expect that he won't be back for some time." Anakin walked around the table and took his seat.  
  
"Well, I suppose he won't mind if we begin then."  
  
"Allow me," he said as he used his Jedi powers to lift the fruit from her plate. "If Master Obi-Wan caught me doing this, he'd be very grumpy," he said as he cut the fruit and returned a piece to Padme, which she then caught on her fork.  
  
"Nice trick," Daniel said pleasantly as he entered the room.  
  
"Thanks," Anakin grumbled.  
  
"Daniel, I'm sorry we started eating without you," Padme apologized as she cast an accusing glanced at the young Jedi. "Anakin told me you wouldn't be back for some time."  
  
Not wanting to cause any more hostility between himself and the younger man, Daniel fibbed, "Oh it's all right. I really wasn't sure when I'd be back." He quickly changed the topic. "It's really beautiful out there. It seems so peaceful. You're lucky to have grown up here."  
  
"Thank you. After we eat, I'd love to show you around some more."  
  
"That would be nice. Anakin and I haven't gotten to see much of the area."  
  
"Oh," Padme exclaimed as she remembered the boy was still sitting there, "Yes, Anakin, would you like to join us?"  
  
Anakin did his best to sound pleasant, but the bitterness in his voice began to seep out, "No, thank you, Senator. I think I need some rest for now."  
  
With that, Anakin stood and left the table. He walked quickly to his room and sat down angrily at the desk. He pounded his fists against the top and watched the quill-like pen jump. He picked it up and began to throw it across the room until he saw a stack of paper and decided to begin writing.  
  
"From the moment I met you all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The thought of not being with you is killing me. I can't breathe. You are in my very soul tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything that you ask."   
  
He neatly folded the letter and wrote the name "Padme" on the outside. He stood up confidently, planning to leave the note on the pillow in his love's room. As he reached his bedroom door, he heard her laughter and for a moment , he pretended that she was laughing at some witty joke he had just told. However, his delusion was quickly broken as he heard Daniel's voice then the door to the cottage close as the two of them exited together.   
  
His hands clenched into fists, crumpling his letter. He threw the crumpled sheet at the wall as he paced near the foot of his bed. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed the desk to fling it in the same manner as he had the paper. He grabbed it while screaming and lifted with all his might. He expected it to go flying across the room and smash into the wall. Instead, he nearly ripped his arms out of their sockets as he found that the piece of furniture was securely bolted down. At this, he simply sank to the floor, bawling over both his physical and emotional pains. 


	7. Chapter 7

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama, Romance   
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings: (very, very) mild sexual situation, slight profanity  
  
Summary: Daniel and Padme spend time together. (Daniel/Padme romance)  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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NOTE: This piece of the story (Part 7) focuses purely on Padme and Daniel getting closer. It is mostly here for the people who are enjoying the Daniel/Padme aspect of the story and wanted more. If you're not interested in the romance, you can skip Part 7 without missing major plot points. (If you don't mind romance, I recommend reading, because it does add to the story.)  
  
Okay, this is also just an excuse for writing a wet Daniel... *g*  
  
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The sun washed over Padme and Daniel as they walked barefoot across the sandy beach. Daniel was amazed at how beautiful the woman beside him looked in her sheer, flowing, silky, golden gown. The sun glinted off her hair, which hung down in long ringlets, and she seemed to radiate light as she smiled at him.  
  
Daniel's companion seemed to be equally enchanted with his appearance, as he had changed into a sleeveless gauze-like white shirt and loose tan pants he had found inside the cottage. The pair managed to choose clothes that covered their bodies but let them feel as though they were not wearing clothes at all, allowing the breeze from the ocean to come right through the cloth and caress their skin.  
  
The sand beneath their feet was warm and soft as Padme took Daniel's hand and led him toward the edge of the water. As they walked closer, the sand became moist and soothing beneath their toes. Padme's gown hung down and sand began to cling to the bottom as she walked.   
  
The tide came up and washed across their feet. The water quickly traveled back out, leaving the hem of Padme's dress and the cuffs of Daniel's pants darkened by the liquid. They walked farther toward the ocean until they were standing ankle deep in it. They stopped and Padme turned to face Daniel who continued looking out across the water.   
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked, looking up at him.   
  
The sun gleamed off the water and the sky radiated with blues, golds, purples, and reds. It had been a long time since Daniel had been able to relax enough to admire a beach for its beauty. He wished he could stay here forever, just basking in the sun. He turned toward Padme and smiled. "It's wonderful."  
  
"Why do you look so sad?"  
  
"Because I know I'll have to leave. I only see people suffering and dying all the time. It's so rare that I get to see something truly beautiful."   
  
"Daniel, there's beauty everywhere. You only have to know where to look for it. Even the most wicked person has a hint of good, and out of the most horrible atrocities, come inspiring acts of heroism. Even something as simple as that one insect that survives a horrible bombing is beautiful, because at least something survived."  
  
He wished he could see things the way she did, but years of dealing with the Goa'uld had made him bitter. He knew she was right. If you looked hard enough, beauty was all around. It was just a matter of getting past that large evil fog that blocked it. It saddened him to think that that fog just kept getting thicker around him, and he longed to stay and live in her world of beauty.   
  
She smiled him, which elicted a smile in return. "Come on. I want to show you something else," she exclaimed then began running down the beach, pulling Daniel along behind her.   
  
Just as he began to grow tired of running, they reached a group of rocks, which Padme led him down. As he began descending, he could see and hear a waterfall a short distance away. The path to the fall was carpeted with a thick covering of soft grass and smooth stepping-stones. The way was thick with dark green plants and colorful flowers.   
  
Eventually the path came to a clearing shaded by what seemed to be enormous willow trees. At the center of the clearing, the sun shown down on a large, crystal clear pool of water. To one side, the waterfall poured down, filling the pool and a small stream which flowed from it.  
  
Giving Daniel's hand one last tug before letting go, Padme ran to the edge of the water and dove in.   
  
Daniel looked around, unsure whether to follow. After a few moments, he decided he had nothing to lose, so he dove in after her.   
  
When he surfaced, he could see Padme a short distance away. The hem of her gown floated around her near the water's surface.   
  
"I used to jump from the top of the fall," she shouted while treading water. "It scared my parents out of their minds." She swan closer to him and giggled as she recalled, "Of course, once I did it, all the other kids followed. "  
  
Daniel smiled and suggested, "Why don't we go jump off?"  
  
"Are you crazy?" she exclaimed as she splashed water at him. "I have a better idea. Come on." She took off toward the fall, and Daniel swam after her.   
  
Under the water, Daniel could feel the fall crashing down as he swam beneath it. He soon saw Padme begin to surface and did the same. He was now behind the waterfall and through the spray of the water, he could see a rock ledge a short distance away. Padme swam to the edge and lifted herself onto its surface.   
  
As Padme now sat on the ledge, Daniel could see that the water had turned her dress nearly transparent. A thousand indecent thoughts passed through his head as he suddenly forgot to keep swimming. He was brought quickly back to his senses as sunk beneath the surface and got a mouth full of water. As he resurfaced, he scolded himself. *Get a hold of yourself, Jackson. This is no big deal. Forget about the dress. Forget about the dress.*  
  
Padme grew concerned as she saw him go below the water and was relieved when he quickly came back up. As he lifted himself up beside her, she reached out to touch his arm asking, "Are you okay?"  
  
"Forget about the dress," he mumbled.  
  
"What?' she asked, unsure if she had heard him correctly.  
  
Realizing he had voiced his thoughts, he coughed, trying to buy time to think of a cover story. "I think I got some water in my chest," he said, hoping she'd buy it.  
  
"Oh." She was now more concerned. "Will you be okay? I thought you were going to drown back there."  
  
He offered a smile and assured her, "I'll be fine. Just give me a second."  
  
She was relieved and began to smile as she noticed his muscles through his shirt, which clung to his body. "That shirt looks great on you wet," she observed as her smile grew wider.  
  
The 'wet shirt' comment immediately turned his mind back to the exact thing he had been trying to forget. His cheeks and ears reddened quickly.  
  
Padme laughed as she watched him blush. She stood then extended a hand to him. He looked up at her as he placed his hand in hers. As he did so, he got another view of her form under the damp cloth. He quickly turned his head toward the water that was pouring down a few feet away. *Focus on the waterfall,* he thought. *Wow. Look at that water. Yeah, that's a good distraction. Look at all those colors. Yep, that's a great waterfall... a nice cold waterfall.*  
  
Padme noticed her companion staring at the water as he stood. "Don't you have waterfalls on your planet?" she asked.  
  
"Um... yes, but... that's... one heck of a waterfall." He was quickly discovering that his 'concentrate on the waterfall' strategy wasn't working as well as he had hoped. He thought maybe he would be able to distract himself with conversation. "So," he said as her turned toward her. He knew he'd made a mistake when he found himself facing a very beautiful, very wet looking Padme.  
  
"Ah hell," he mumbled as brought his hand around her waist and pulled her into a deep kiss. She immediately responded by bringing her arms around his neck and running her fingers up through his hair.  
  
Daniel began to feel guilty being with a woman who was so much younger than him and who Anakin was so obviously interested in. To her disappointment, he suddenly stopped. "I shouldn't have done that," he apologized.  
  
She smiled warmly at him, asking, "And why not?"  
  
Daniel looked directly into her sparkling eyes. Multicolored light refracted from the pouring water and glimmered all around him, making her look like she had come out of his dream. He wanted to live that dream here with this woman who could bring light back into his life. Suddenly, Daniel couldn't remember the concerns that had just plagued him. "I can't think of a reason," he said as he took her in his arms and kissed her once again.   
  
He pulled her in tighter, bringing her feet off the ground. As he lifted her, she wrapped her legs around him. He took a step backward, pressing her against the smooth obsidian stone.   
  
They continued, wrapped up in each other for several minutes, until Padme pulled back and with a devilish grin suggested, "Let's go for a swim." 


	8. Chapter 8

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings: slight Danny whumping  
  
Summary: Sam, Jack, Teal'c, and Obi-Wan make a discovery. Daniel and Anakin have a disagreement. [Daniel/Padme romance, Daniel/Jack friendship.]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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Sam walked alongside Jack down the white corridors on Kamino. The tall alien had just taken her leave of the group, telling them they were free to travel as they pleased as long as they didn't wander into any restricted areas.  
  
When she was certain the alien was out of earshot, Sam expressed her concerns, "Sir, there was something very disturbing about Jengo Fett."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Her expression was very serious and concerned as she said, "He looked like Apophis."  
  
"Carter, please tell me you're kidding."  
  
"I wish I were."  
  
"Obi-Wan, what do we know about this Fett guy? Is he the leader of these... these... bad guys?" O'Neill questioned.  
  
"I don't believe so. He definitely knew more than he was letting on, but I am quite certain that he is merely one cog in a much larger machine," Kenobi answered.  
  
"Carter?" O'Neill asked for confirmation.  
  
"It did seem that way, Sir."  
  
"That does not sound like Apophis," Teal'c chimed in. "If he were behind this, his ego would lead him to place himself as the most important figure in the scenario."  
  
Carter agreed, "You're probably right about that." After a moment of thinking, she had a realization. She added, "I didn't sense a Goa'uld. That was definitely Apophis. He even acted like Apophis, but he didn't have a Goa'uld."  
  
"You sure about that?" O'Neill asked.  
  
"Positively," she answered immediately. After a moment's thought she amended her response with, "Almost." She didn't like to doubt herself, but if there was one thing Sam was uncertain about, it was her Tok'ra senses, memories, and abilities. With all she handled on a daily basis, she hardly had the time to delve deeply into the Tok'ra part of herself. At times like this, she regretted not being able to do so.  
  
"Okay, we'll continue on the assumption that Apophis isn't responsible, but be cautious and try not to take any chances," O'Neill ordered. Making sure that Kenobi couldn't hear him, he added, "And I think Obi-Wan is just peachy, but remember we don't know for sure that we can trust these Jedi." As he said it, he felt a pang of guilt and dread at sending his best friend off alone. He knew Daniel made the decision to go and Daniel could be very stubborn once he made a decision, but as commanding officer he could have ordered him to stay with the group. *Damn it, Daniel,* he thought. *Why do I listen to you? You had better be okay, because it'll be my fault if you're not.* He hoped he would soon have the opportunity to make sure his friend was still safe.  
  
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Anakin stood on the patio as the sun rose over the glistening waters. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth of the sun bathing him. The sound of the water rushing below mixed with the birds singing from their treetop perches. The scene calmed him and made him feel more at peace. It helped to take away his feelings of hurt and jealousy. It also took away the images from the nightmare that had awakened him periodically from his sleep.  
  
He heard soft steps approaching from behind. They stopped then began fading as they walked away.  
  
"Don't go," he pleaded.  
  
"I don't want to disturb you," Padme stated.  
  
"I want to apologize," he said as he continued to face away from her. "I've been acting foolishly... like a child."  
  
"It's okay. I understand," she said sympathetically. "You know, it doesn't have to be this way. I think you and Daniel could be great friends. There's no reason to be jealous."  
  
The words that were meant to soothe him actually made him angry. The serenity that had just encompassed him quickly faded. "No reason," he whined. "There's no reason? I see the way you look at him, the way you fall all over him! What more reason do I need? As long as that's the way it is, he and I will never be friends!"  
  
"Anakin, there has never been anything between you and me except in your mind. What I do and who I choose to look at are my own business. Grow up," she exclaimed as she turned and walked away.  
  
Daniel watched Padme leaving the patio as he entered from the opposite side. "Is she alright?" he asked.  
  
"Why should you care?"  
  
"We're friends, and I'm concerned about her."  
  
"Yeah, I know. You two are good friends," he accused as he turned around to face Daniel. "How did you do it? You just came in here and swept her off her feet."  
  
"Anakin, I think you're trying too hard. You can't force her to feel the same way."  
  
"If you weren't here, I bet she already would."  
  
"Look, she does care for you. I know it's not my place to interfere, but she came out here because she was honestly concerned about you."  
  
"Why? Because I'm a poor broken-hearted baby?" he said sarcastically. He then uttered bitterly, "I don't need her pity."  
  
"No, she heard you screaming last night. She wanted to know about your nightmare. Didn't you give her the chance to talk?"  
  
"Well... no... I..." Anakin hesitated, not wanting to reveal how immature he'd acted.  
  
Wanting to help, Daniel asked, "Why don't you tell me about it?"  
  
"Well..." Anakin hesitated, unsure whether to trust Daniel. "I dreamt about my mother. She's suffering. She's in pain." He took a few seconds to contemplate. "I would be disobeying my mandate to help the Senator if I left, but I have to go. I have to help her."  
  
"You should go. I'll stay here and protect Padme," Daniel offered, trying to be helpful.  
  
Anakin exploded, "Oh, you would love that... just the two of you all alone here in a secluded romantic getaway. No way! You think I'm just going to let you have her!?"  
  
"Anakin, calm down, it was just a suggestion," Daniel said, trying to cool the situation.  
  
"Some suggestion," Anakin shouted then punched Daniel in the face. "I'm in charge here, not you! It's about time you figured that out!"  
  
Caught off guard, Daniel stumbled backward and tripped over a large potted plant. He fell to the ground as the pot broke. Padme heard the crash and rushed from inside. Seeing Daniel, she ran to him and helped him to his feet.   
  
Once she was sure Daniel was not seriously hurt, she looked accusingly at Anakin and shouted, "What is wrong with you?"  
  
Anakin screamed back, "Why don't you ask him!!" With that, he stormed away to his room.  
  
Turning toward Daniel, Padme apologized, "This is all my fault. He's had a crush on me for years. I should have done more to discourage it years ago." She looked closer at Daniel's face, checking to see if he had been injured. "He was such a pain when I first met him, but I felt sorry for him. I guess he's never learned how to control his emotions."  
  
Padme continued fussing over Daniel and kept talking rapidly. "I can't believe he did this. I hope it doesn't leave a bruise..."   
  
Daniel stopped her, taking both of her hands into his and looking into her eyes as he told her, "I'm okay." He smiled as he said, "I've taken hits a lot worse."  
  
She smiled back, slightly embarrassed at how silly she must seem. He pulled her closer saying, "Thanks for caring though." He gave her a soft, tender kiss, then wrapped his arms around her and held her close.  
  
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In his room, Anakin began to replay in his mind the images from his dream. He hated what he had seen, and he knew his mother was suffering. He made up his mind to leave that instant in order to save her.   
  
He decided to leave the two 'lovebirds' behind. He was sick of watching them together and convinced that they would only make matters worse.   
  
Without telling the others, he gathered his things and headed for the boat outside the cottage. 


	9. Chapter 9

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings:   
  
Summary: SG1 find their way home... or maybe not. [Padme/Daniel]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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Obi-Wan stood outside his starfighter, battling a rainstorm to communicate over holocam with the Jedi Council while the rest of the group waited inside. "Apparently Colonel O'Neill's team have encountered this bounty hunter, Jengo Fett, before. However, they know him by the name Apophis. They say he is different than when they dealt with him previously. Apparently he is lacking something called a 'Goa'uld,' which is some type of creature. I've never heard of it, have you?"  
  
"Not have I," answered Yoda. "Ominous it sounds."  
  
*Not have I!?* Kenobi thought, *Yoda's really pushing it with this backward talk.* Aloud, he responded, "I have a strong feeling this is the bounty hunter we've been looking for," Kenobi shouted over the wind as he crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest.  
  
Before Yoda or Windu could respond, their images began to break up. Then, without warning, the sky, the platform, and the entire world around Obi-Wan began to break apart into long scratchy lines. Worried, he turned and ran back inside.  
  
As he ran through the doors he exclaimed, "O'Neill, what's going on?"  
  
"I was hoping you knew," the colonel responded.  
  
Suddenly, the world seemed to melt away, leaving behind a room filled with rows of cushioned red chairs and a white screen in front.  
  
"Finally," O'Neill exclaimed as he thrust his hands into the air. He hadn't been this happy inside a movie theatre since he was a teenager.  
  
Seeing Obi-Wan's confused look, Sam explained, "This is the movie theater we started out in."  
  
"I see." The Jedi looked distress as he stated, "It seems you've found your way back home then."  
  
Realizing that Kenobi was now trapped in their world, she put her hand on his arm and assured him, "We'll help you find a way back."  
  
Kenobi smiled back warmly, "Thank you, Sam. I appreciate that."  
  
Sam smiled back and nodded as she removed her hand from his arm.  
  
A moment later, a very enraged voice shouted, "What the hell am I doing here?"  
  
The group turned to see the young Jedi standing in the back of the theater, looking very angry. Obi-Wan quickly scolded him, "Anakin, control yourself."  
  
"Stuff it, old man," he snapped back.  
  
The Jedi Master looked shocked at his Padawan's attitude. His disappointment was overwhelming, and he quietly turned his back to the young man. Sam looked on. She wanted to comfort Kenobi, but she knew he would not welcome it under these circumstances.  
  
Seeing his master react in a manner he had never seen before brought Anakin to his senses. Realizing what he had done, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Master. I was out of line."  
  
Obi-Wan did not move. He continued standing with his arms crossed over his chest, staring stone faced in the other direction. Anakin's guilt grew as everyone stood in silence.  
  
The quiet tension was broken by another voice from across the room. "Jack?"  
  
Turning to see his friend, Jack sighed with relief, calling out, "Daniel! Thank god."  
  
With Padme standing next to him, Daniel asked, "So are we home?"  
  
"I sure hope so," Jack answered.  
  
Suddenly, loud music came over the speakers. The group looked around and saw that the movie screen was getting cloudy. A black haze swirled around and grew out of the screen to become a hazy, black fog. It was either an impressive special effect by the theater company, or they were in fact not home.  
  
"Oh no...," O'Neill groaned, expressing everyone's dread.  
  
Out of the haze, a man dressed in a black cape and an angular black helmet approached. He was a menacing figure whose breathing seemed to be amplified. As he stopped, he removed his helmet. His breathing now became normal and everyone could see that he was an ordinary man of around 50 years old.  
  
"Luke Skywalker," Teal'c blurted out. He was very puzzled by this new turn of events.  
  
The man in black became very irritated at that and exclaimed, "Look, the name is Mark Hamill. Yes, I played Luke Skywalker, but I've got bills, a lot of bills, to pay. So what if I'm doing this stupid promotion in a Darth Vader outfit for practically nothing? Could we please move on?"  
  
Taken aback, Teal'c nodded his head and said, "My apologies."   
  
Hamill continued with the message he had come to deliver, "Anyway, here's the deal folks. We're having technical difficulties with the Star Wars film. It may take awhile to work things out. The managers are giving you two options. You can either return to the lobby to get a refund on your tickets or you can stick around here. For those of you who stay, we're going to be playing some old movie trailers. Thanks for your cooperation." Without further ado, Hamill quickly proceeded to exit the theater.   
  
SG-1 looked at each other and O'Neill gave the order, "Let's get out of here."  
  
At that, they all headed for the exit Mark Hamill had just taken, not quite believing that the answer to their problems could be that easy. Their belief was confirmed when Teal'c pushed on the door handle, but it didn't open. He tried to pull on the door, but that yielded the same results. He then rammed the door with his shoulder, but it wouldn't budge.  
  
"Check the other exits," O'Neill ordered and the other three each walked to the remaining doors. To their disappointment, they quickly found that none of them would open.  
  
On the screen, the promised movie trailers had begun playing, but no one paid them any attention.  
  
Padme approached Daniel and grasped his arm, whispering, "Daniel, what's going on? Where are we?"  
  
He answered, "This is my world... I think." He took hold of her hand and turned to her. "Padme, I honestly don't know what's going on. None of us know. My friends and I were suddenly transported into your world while we were watching you on that." He pointed to the movie screen in front of them. "This is some type of... of... strange occurrence we can't figure out."  
  
Padme picked up on the use of the word 'we,' and she suddenly looked upset. "Wait a minute," she exclaimed. "Just how many of you knew about this 'strange occurrence' before now?"  
  
Daniel looked away guiltily as he answered, "Well... Umm... Everyone but you."  
  
She became indignant at this, ripping her hand from his grasp and shouting loudly over the theatre's speakers, "I can't believe you would keep something like this from me."  
  
Seeing an opportunity, Anakin quickly jumped in with, "That's right, Padme. He was hiding things from you. He's a bad guy. You can't trust him."  
  
"Shut up, Anakin!" she quickly shot back.  
  
Daniel placed his hands on Padme's shoulders. As he struggled to explain, the rest of SG-1 looked on in shock. Hoping to shed some light on this new situation, O'Neill questioned, "Daniel?"  
  
Sounding very irritated and turning his head to his commanding officer, Daniel snapped, "Could you give me a minute, Jack?"  
  
The Colonel raised his hands in front of him and turned his head in a gesture that seemed to say, 'Sorry, I thought I was in charge here.'  
  
Daniel turned back to Padme and looked into her eyes, telling her, "I'm sorry. I... I just... I thought you would think I was crazy if I told you the truth." He reached up toward her forehead and ran his hand through her hair. "You have to admit, if you hadn't seen it yourself, you wouldn't have believed me."  
  
Unable to stay angry while looking into Daniel's innocent eyes, Padme quickly gave in, "You're right." She smiled and hugged him, "I forgive you."  
  
Exasperated by yet another display of affection instead of a major argument, Anakin shouted, "Son of a..."  
  
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan quickly interrupted, giving him a scolding look.   
  
"Would you two get a room," he whined as he walked to the far end of the theatre.  
  
Suddenly, Daniel's attention was drawn away from the woman in front of him by the images on the screen. Egyptian pyramids appeared, followed by a group of people lifting a large, circular object. A voice carried out a narration, "... a mystery, a secret, a threshold to the future..."   
  
Daniel let go of Padme. His jaw dropped, and he began walking slowly toward the screen. The other members of SG-1 followed Daniel's gaze. Jack's eyes grew wide as he too walked closer.  
  
Short clips from the movie began to play. "One man will break the code and open the door. The other will lead the way," the narrator continued.  
  
Daniel and Jack looked at each other, hoping that they were the only one seeing this. Judging from the other's expression, they realized that they were not. In disbelief, they turned their attention back to the images, which continued for several minutes.  
  
The trailer went quiet and the word "Stargate" remained on the screen for what seemed to be a very long time. All of SG-1 were rendered speechless and continued staring.  
  
Padme whispered to Obi-Wan, "Wow, people on this planet must really get into these things." Obi-Wan nodded in agreement.  
  
Sam and Teal'c stood by knowing that they had just seen a summary of Jack and Daniel's first trip through the gate, but not knowing precisely how accurate it was.  
  
Sam finally composed herself and stated, "That was about you."  
  
"We realize this, Carter," Jack snapped.  
  
Daniel was dumbfounded as he asked, "Jack, how do they know all that? That's not just what happened. That's exactly what happened. It's like they had a camera filming us. Only that's not me. And that's not you. And that wasn't Catherine. And that wasn't Sha're."  
  
"But that was Skara and Kasuf, and that was most definitely Ra," O'Neill added. Almost every person they knew looked different in this on-screen representation, but for some reason, three of them were the same. Neither one of them knew what to make of it.  
  
"Those scenes... I remember saying those things." Daniel looked to Jack for some kind of explanation. When none was forthcoming, he turned to the one person he knew he could rely on. "Sam?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Daniel, but... I have no idea."  
  
"It seems like we're not the only ones who are in a movie," Obi-Wan observed.  
  
"If there was a movie, I sure as hell wasn't it in," O'Neill stated flatly.  
  
"And neither was I," Daniel added.  
  
After more thought, Sam chimed in, "Okay, we've seen this kind of thing happen before. We know that there are parallel realities. Maybe in one, the two of you are just a movie. In another, Star Wars is real life. Somehow we're all being transported around these parallel realities."  
  
Hearing the word 'transport' reminded the Colonel of another science fiction program. "This is getting too Star Trek for me," he grumbled.  
  
"It is in fact 'Stargate', O'Neill," Teal'c corrected, noting the movie title they had just seen.  
  
Jack raised his hands toward Teal'c as though he were about to strangle him. "I'm not in the mood, Teal'c."  
  
The Jaffa merely raised an eyebrow at him.   
  
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: The appearance of Mark Hamill in this story was done in jest and was not intended to insult Mr. Hamill. The reference to him needing money is making light of the fact that people think he has done no work since Star Wars, when he has in fact had a successful voiceover career which (from interviews he's given) he is very happy with.) 


	10. Chapter 10

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season Stargate's 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings: none  
  
Summary: Daniel deals with his memories of Sha're. [Padme/Daniel]  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated   
  
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Daniel found himself slowly walking to the front row of the theatre, unable to remove his eyes from the movie screen even after it had gone black, wondering why *that* of all things had begun to play. Seeing a recounting of the moments when he'd first fallen in love with Sha're felt like salt being rubbed in all-to-fresh wounds.   
  
Taking her eyes off the others, who were busy discussing the current situation, Padme noticed Daniel's somber expression as he walked away from them. Quietly, she moved around the group and approached Daniel.   
  
The others saw he move, and immediately realized that Daniel was no longer with them. Sam, Jack, and Teal'c looked at each other, wondering whether they should follow Padme in order to check on their friend. Silently, they all agreed that they would only get in the way, and that they were only a few feet from him if he needed them.  
  
"Hey," Padme whispered as she lightly touched Daniel's shoulder.   
  
"Hey," Daniel answered as turned his head to look at her with a weak smile on his lips, but sadness in his eyes.   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
He looked into her eyes and began, "Padme, I..." His voice trailed off as he returned his gaze back to the screen.  
  
"What is it?" she asked with a sense of dread.  
  
Sighing and taking a moment to strengthen his resolve, Daniel met her eyes once again. "This isn't going to work."  
  
"Oh," she squeaked, blinking to keep the tears from her eyes.  
  
Daniel turned his body to her and took hold of her hand comfortingly. "I'm sorry. Being with you has been the best time I've had in years. It's just that," he hesitated for a second before continuing, "my wife just died. I thought I was over it and ready to move on, but..." His voice began to break as he turned his head back to the screen.   
  
Now, it was Padme's turn to comfort him as she squeezed his hand gently. At this, Daniel looked back at her, and she calmly assured him, "Daniel, it's okay. I understand. We were moving too fast."   
  
He nodded slowly, then after a second, a small smile crept to his lips. This brought one to hers as well, and the moisture at the corner of her eyes began to fade.  
  
"What?" she asked self-consciously with a smile still adorning her features.  
  
"You were right." When she looked at him in confusion, he continued. "There really is something different about your people, something very different and very wonderful."  
  
At this, her smile grew and a red hue rose up on her cheeks. "Daniel Jackson, did you just call me wonderful?" she asked shyly.  
  
"Hm...," he answered, pretending to think. "Why yes, Padme Amidala, I think I did." He smiled back at her.  
  
"Well, you're pretty wonderful yourself."  
  
They stood there, transfixed on each other's twinkling eyes until Daniel spread his arms toward her and gave her a puppy dog look. "Friends?"  
  
"Friends," she agreed as she stepped into his arms and wrapped her own around him.  
  
*********************  
  
Anakin had been transfixed on this whole exchange, and as he watched the two of them so happy together, he realized that his chances with Padme were over. Suddenly feeling dizzy, he sunk into a chair nearby and resolved himself to being a gracious loser, one worthy of the Jedi title.   
  
*********************  
  
Obi-Wan noticed the others exchange looks as they saw Daniel Jackson and Padme walking away. He didn't want to be rude, so he didn't speak for several seconds. When he was certain that none of them were going to follow the couple, she took the opportunity to ask, "Sam, you truly know for a fact that there are parallel realities?"  
  
"Yes, we've witnessed their effects firsthand."  
  
"Fascinating. Not even the Jedi Council has made such a discovery. I find it very impressive that you have been able to accomplish this."  
  
Sam looked slightly embarrassed as she pointed out how they had come across the parallel realities. "Actually, it was an accident, and it was really Daniel who found it first. We were exploring this planet and Daniel," a fond smile came across her face as she spoke her next words, "being his typical self, decided to explore. There happened to be a mirror-like device on the planet that sent him into a parallel reality when he touched it."  
  
"Have you been able to study this device?"  
  
Sam's face fell and her disappointment was apparent. "No, our general ordered it destroyed."  
  
"That's a shame. If we are in fact traveling through parallel realities, we might have been able to use some of the principles behind the mirror or even locate a similar device here to get us all home."  
  
"Yeah," Sam's face echoed the expression of both Jack's and Teal'c's. The general they all loved like a father may have inadvertently trapped them here by taking actions that he thought would protect their planet.  
  
"It cannot be that simple," Obi-Wan stated, interrupting the silence after a few moments of considering Sam's theory about the parallel universes. "Certain aspects of your reality seem to be bleeding into mine. If we are indeed being moved throughout parallel realities, parts of those realities appear to be overlapping. For example, the," he paused for a moment, trying to remember the term, "...death glider doesn't belong in my reality, yet you say our starfighters now appear to be death gliders."  
  
"You're right," Sam stated with a hint of admiration and a tinge of self-disgust for not realizing it herself. She suddenly remembered the odd experience she'd had at the beginning of the evening and turned to the rest of SG1. "Did anything weird happen to you guys at the beginning of the movie?"  
  
"Weird?" O'Neill questioned.  
  
"Like people's eyes glowing in a Goa'uld-ish manner?" Daniel elaborated for Sam as he and Padme stepped up beside them.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I may have seen something like that."  
  
"I too saw similar images, but dismissed them at the time," Teal'c added.  
  
"Sam, what does this mean?" Obi'Wan asked.  
  
"Well, I don't think this is part of any nefarious plan. I do have a theory about..." Sam was quickly cut off as the world around them began to crackle and break apart.   
  
"Not again!" Jack groaned in frustration. 


	11. Chapter 11

Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season Stargate's 3, after FIAD.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Content Warnings: none  
  
Summary: Looks like they've found themselves in yet another movie. (Jack may come to regret all those Wizard of Oz references.)  
  
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated at callea_veda@poetic.com   
  
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Before anyone could utter another comment, the air around them filled with cheerful music. All of their eyes grew wide as they saw large group of short, plump people dancing in front of them billowing a chorus of "We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild."  
  
O'Neill shook his head and rubbed his eyes, hoping he wasn't seeing what he thought he was. Sam and Daniel just looked at each other, hoping for an explanation. In response to their looks, they each received a shrug from the other. The remaining four party members simply looked confused.   
  
Before one of them had the chance to ask about the current situation, a munchkin approached Sam and inquired, "Are you friends of Dorothy?"  
  
Sam's mouth opened, but it was Jack who spoke. "Yes, where is our little girl from Kansas?"  
  
In answer to the question, the munchkins appeared to be moving themselves into position for a song. Daniel and Sam both groaned inwardly, preparing themselves for the round of 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road' that was inevitably to come.   
  
"She went that way," a deep voice called out. Everyone, including the munchkins, turned their heads to see a stocky munchkin pointing in the direction of the infamous yellow path.  
  
"Roger!" the man who appeared to be the head munchkin shouted. "You've ruined everything," he scolded as he approached the other.  
  
"I saved us from humiliation," Roger retorted. The other munchkins' jaws dropped in shock, and the defiant one carried on. "Did you hear us the last time? We were squeaking all over the place! We need more practice before we go performing in public again!"  
  
Seeing the opportunity to take their leave, the party of four SG-1 members, two Jedi, and a senator slowly crept toward path. As they got farther away, they heard sounds that may or may not have been the beginning of a munchkin brawl.   
  
Continuing down the path, Anakin stepped up to Obi-Wan and whispered, "Master, do you know where we're going or who Dorothy is?"  
  
The older man seemed hesitant to answer, but he finally admitted, "No, I do not."  
  
The two men fell slightly behind the group as Anakin asked, "Don't you think we should know what's going on?"  
  
"Do you feel that we should, Anakin?"  
  
The younger man sighed, sensing his master going into teaching mode where he would answer almost everything with a question, "We should be in charge here. These people barely know what they're doing."  
  
"Are you certain of that?"  
  
"Absolutely," he answered without hesitation.   
  
"Very well. We shall leave then. We'll find our own way out."  
  
"But Master, we don't even know what this place is. We have to at least ask them about it first."  
  
"If we ask them, we have to trust that what they're telling us is accurate and that they are indeed competent and intelligent people. If you feel that they are not, we are better off finding our own way out without the bias of their incompetent notions interfering with our perceptions of this place."  
  
"But..." Anakin stammered.  
  
Obi-Wan stopped and faced his Padawan, asking him sternly, "Do we stay and trust them or do we go, Anakin?" He was genuinely leaving the decision up to the younger man, trusting that he had trained him well enough to make the wise choice. Of course, if he didn't, their task of getting home would become much more difficult.   
  
Feeling the pressure of decision upon him, Anakin began to see things in a new light. He realized he was doing exactly what Master Kenobi was trying to get him to. It irritated him to no end when that happened. To his chagrin, he knew the older man was right. Without the others, they didn't have the slightest clue about where to even begin.   
  
Sighing heavily, he answered, "We'll stay with them."  
  
"Good," Kenobi responded as he turned to catch up to the others. After taking a few steps, he turned back. "Do try to have more patience, Anakin."  
  
"Yes, Master," he replied irritably as he too began to move down the path.  
  
********  
  
After they'd been walking for what seemed like a thousand miles to O'Neill's knees, he thought of an idea. Turning to his second in command, he suggested, "Carter, maybe you should try clicking your heels together."  
  
At first, she thought he was joking, but the look on his face indicated his seriousness. "Why me, Sir?"  
  
He didn't respond, which left Sam staring at him in bewilderment. Jack then looked at Daniel and motioned toward Sam with his head.   
  
The colonel was met with a 'why me' look from his friend. Jack's return look implied, 'Just do it. She'll take it better coming from you."  
  
Sighing in resignation, Daniel began, "Because, Sam, you're a..." He saw her giving him a look, challenging him and warning him not to continue his statement, so he quietly finished, "...woman."  
  
Sam's eye grew wide and her voice stern as she turned on Daniel, "That is so sexist!"  
  
"Dorothy was a woman," O'Neill added, trying to save his friend from some of the wrath he'd brought upon him.  
  
"So?!" Sam gasped in disbelief. "Besides, she looks more like Dorothy than me," the major exclaimed, gesturing toward Padme, who stood between the two Jedi.   
  
"We don't want to go to her home! We want to go to yours!" Jack answered.   
  
Daniel sighed and interrupted the disagreement before it got out of hand, "Okay, what if we all do just it together?"  
  
"I'm not clicking my heels together. It's embarrassing," Jack replied stubbornly.  
  
"You expected MajorCarter to do so, O'Neill. It is only fair that you are willing to do it yourself."  
  
He hated it when Teal'c was right. "Okay, I'll do it," he grumbled. "As long as the rest of you are too," he added quickly, looking around at the rest of the group to see if they agreed. The remainder of SG-1 nodded in agreement.   
  
"I am uncertain about what results you hope to attain from clicking your heels together," Obi-Wan stated when Jack's eyes fell upon him.  
  
"You don't just click your heels together. You have to say 'There's no place like home' while you do it," Sam said as though that would clear up the matter.  
  
Seeing the confused looks on the other's faces, Daniel elaborated. "This is another movie we have on our..." He started to say planet, but decided it wasn't appropriate. Then he was about to say reality, when he decided he wasn't sure that was the right term either. He finally settled on, "Where we come from. It's called The Wizard of Oz. The girl, Dorothy, in the movie gets home by clicking her heals together and saying 'There's no place like home' three times."   
  
"Daniel, do you really think that's going to work?" Padme asked skeptically.  
  
"Well...," he started to reply and looked at Sam, whose expression was doubtful. "It couldn't hurt," he finished weakly. 


End file.
